I made it

Crap. I can’t believe it.

I made it to my dream uni.

Omg.

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!

I’m crying right now.

The results came too early actually, which usually comes out weeks before the end of every school year. I was expecting for myself to cry (whether out of extreme sadness or happiness, or both) at least two and a half months from now.

Although I didn’t get into the campus I wished for (which makes me very much disappointed at myself, haha)… all the while I really thought I wouldn’t make it, because I knew in the core of my heart I did terrible in the test. I wasn’t even lying when I said I guessed 99% of my answers to the questions of the science comprehension, and only solved for 1/3 of math (with answers that made sense). And shotgunned the last whole column of the reading comprehension. I was answering even without reading the questions anymore. It was that bad for me. Only a miracle would make me pass that test, I tell myself all the time.

Despite that, truly enough… surprisingly, and unbelievably, I was able to make it. I am so thankful. Haha, I really can’t believe it… I swear. Lord, I am eternally grateful.

High school grades really matter. I believe it’s my grades that saved me. They’re not super high, nor are they very spectacular, but… they’ve helped pull my University Predicted Grade up. Not enough to pass my first choice, but at least…

I am overjoyed. sad. relieved.

Actually, I don’t know what I’m exactly feeling right now. I know I shouldn’t be complaining about anything because other people who wish to go there may not have passed… and I feel so bad just because I didn’t get into the campus I wished for. I feel so selfish right now. I feel so bad about other things, especially knowing my friends not making it, and people I personally know who really wish to have made it but didn’t. And I’m here, endlessly ranting and sulking in my own selfishness. I hate myself right now.

But anyway… the anxiety and wait are over. But really, I wish the results didn’t come out any sooner. I realized the suspense part of it was so much better. And seriously, releasing it days before Christmas? Like what one said on Twitter—she doesn’t know whether the people of the university have the best or worst sense of humor because of having to give the results out right now.

Merry Christmas.

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