Ineffable, again

  • I purposely haven’t been writing anything on here because I would feel a bit selfish if I do so. I didn’t think that putting my conceited writings and shameless selfies would be a good idea after everything that my countrymen had gone (and are still) going through because of the super typhoon. As I channel scan and watch the news, it leaves me so helpless. I feel so selfish for doing my own thing while people have lost their homes, family members, lives… there are really no words to describe what happened, and it really hurts me seeing people broadcasting their dead relatives’ names on air, crying and pleading for help. I don’t aim to sound like I’m the most conscientious (or what) person out there… but this is what I really feel. Well, fast forward to today, now that stores and banks have already opened and that the flag-raising event in Leyte occurred a week ago, this means a lot already.
  • I am really grateful for the kindness of the universe. The goodness found whether in individuals or in nations as a whole gives me hope that in this world of hatred, anger, and selfishness, there are still genuinely kind-hearted beings. It’s amazing to see so many different countries and international organizations helping us and reaching out. A few online friends who I don’t really engage conversations with anymore have messaged me and their genuine concern makes me happy, and their words of encouragement tell me that there is still hope for humanity. Like how my Russian penpal said, “The whole world helps your country, we won’t leave you alone!” in verbatim. Made my heart smile.

I’ve written the words above last week, and I couldn’t think of a better way to conclude the post… until three days ago. What happened has really given me another reason to prove that the first few sentences of the second bullet are, indeed, true.

Last Thursday morning, I received a snail mail letter. I haven’t received one for so long because I am not in an active correspondence with anyone at the moment, so I immediately wondered who could send one at the moment. As I read the name of the sender,  I was really surprised. Who could it be?

It was my penpal from way back 2010! For a split second, I was thinking of possible reasons on why she sent me a letter (considering we’ve lost touch), but I couldn’t really put a finger on it. We were penpals when I was still in freshman year. It was even so thoughtful of her to send me a package with the most adorable things (such as homemade Huckleberry taffy) out of her own want during our few months of correspondence. So I really wondered why. It’s been too long.

As I flipped the envelope to the other side to open the sealed flap, I caught myself saying endless aww’s and omg’s. I was close to shedding some tears, but it was more of the happy feeling overpowering me.

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Omg… it’s about Yolanda… I said aloud. I couldn’t believe it.

That was my assumption because of the drawing of two girls in dresses with the flags of the Philippines and the USA as the designs. It was the first thing that popped into my head, and as I was reading the letter, it turned out that my guess was right. To say I was really shocked is an understatement.

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I was truly touched by the very sweet and thoughtful gesture of hers. Considering we haven’t talked in years, she even thought of sending me a letter, just in case I would receive it, as she mentioned in the letter that she was unsure whether or not it would reach me. She was hoping I was okay.

I just wanted to check up on you. Please stay safe, healthy, and happy.

Her letter made this ever so serious face of mine light up. For a few seconds, I was in a state of peace and absolute happiness—it was the reassurance I felt in me that the world is an amazing place with wonderful beings. Never did I even imagine that my friendships with strangers around the world would go beyond the topics of hobbies, culture, languages… it’s an unexplainable feeling.

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As I got home from school, I immediately opened my cabinet and went through my stuff and, luckily, being the sentimental person I am, I still had the package she sent in 2011.  I was overjoyed. Knowing that someone a thousand miles away, unsure of how you may look like, is concerned about you and the current situation of our country,  is seriously a wonderful feeling. I am running out of better adjectives and synonyms of “feeling” to use… ineffable, I say again. Forever grateful, Catlin!

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